I don’t know why I bother trying to plan out this season in advance. I got on Facebook and read the news about Breonna Taylor and how Brett Hankison, John Mattingly, and Myles Cosgrove will not face any indictment for her murder. And though we saw the signs and we’re learning our history, once again we were reminded of our place in this world in the eyes of men. And I couldn’t help but think, here we go again.

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. There is no proper way to go through this. There isn’t even one way to walk with you through this. So the music is just going to play. I won’t speak, but you can. Take this time to feel the depths of your feelings in a safe space. Know that I’m furiously grieving with you.

Today’s episode is dedicated to you Breonna Taylor.

When I wrote the episode Please Don't Ask Me if I'm Okay, it came as a response to the amount of people asking me and many of my black friends about their mental state without fully understanding what they were asking for. I followed up that episode with What Not to Say When You Don't Know What to Say. That was a totally practical interview with Oliver Ip, pastoral scholar and psychologist in training. In that episode, Ollie and I went over things one should avoid saying to a friend that is grieving or in pain. I asked Ollie, how do you tell someone that you don't see them as 'safe.' That they are not who you would like to give access to your grief or pain for the sake of your mental stability or because you're not looking for advice or whatever. So listen to hear his response.

If you've listened to the last season of this podcast, you'll know that my husband lost his job here in Hong Kong and with two kids and two sets of student loan debt, we have to be a two income household. Paying US$2400 for our 600 sq ft flat doesn't help either. But we were hopeful, optimistic. We believe that after 10 years of working for the same company, it was time for David to find something new, something better, that this was a chance to flex these skills elsewhere. That was back in March. And here we are in September. And 6 months of rejections has really taken its toll on us, on him. So with the money we have left and our daughters by our side, we prepare to leave.